DOMAINS OF DELIGHT
SEXUAL JOY
Sexual joy is individuals and communities having
the freedom to learn about, imagine, discuss and
experience joy in relation to sexuality.
Sexual joy includes experiencing joy in sexual identity, through
exercising sexual rights and sexual expression, in intimate and
embodied experiences with others, and alone.
“WE ALLOW OURSELVES MORE, WE ALLOW OURSELVES WITHOUT FEAR, SO … WE TALK MORE WITH OUR PARTNER, AND THAT’S WHY I NOTICE THAT SEX IS MORE ENJOYABLE.”
(Raio de Luz, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
DOMAINS OF DELIGHT
01
SEXUAL JOY
Sexual joy is individuals and communities having the freedom to learn about, imagine, discuss and experience joy in relation to sexuality.
Sexual joy includes experiencing joy in sexual identity, through exercising sexual rights and sexual expression, in intimate and embodied experiences with others, and alone.
“WE ALLOW OURSELVES MORE, WE ALLOW OURSELVES WITHOUT FEAR, SO … WE TALK MORE WITH OUR PARTNER, AND THAT’S WHY I NOTICE THAT SEX IS MORE ENJOYABLE.”
(Raio de Luz, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
INTRODUCTION ▸
Sexual Joy
Sexual joy involves experiencing pleasure from sex and sexuality that is free from shame and not influenced by the norms and exclusions experienced as part of everyday life.
We can see this concept of sexual joy reflected in these quotes from two women aged 33–46, who live in a favela in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil:
Sexual joy involves experiencing pleasure from sex and sexuality that is free from shame and not influenced by the norms and exclusions experienced as part of everyday life.
We can see this concept of sexual joy reflected in these quotes from two women aged 33–46, who live in a favela in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil:
“[Sex is] more respectful, because nowadays I think women are recognizing their limits earlier, imposing their limits, not just being in bed to satisfy the pleasure of others.”
“We women, in the past, were more closed off. Today we have more freedom in pleasure. We have more freedom to show who we are in bed, right? Because in the past it was only the man, the man would come, boom… No, today us women also have this freedom and pleasure.”
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IN PRACTICE?
What it looks like in practice?
Our research with adult women in Brazil suggested that programmes which focus on gender equity and sexual well-being can increase women’s consciousness and capacity to learn about and experience sexual pleasure.
The women felt free to:
- Talk, learn and educate others about sex, sexuality, pleasure and the body.
- Reflect on and resist gender and sexual norms relating to sex, pleasure and masturbation.
- Imagine alternative, more inclusive, equitable and joyous sexual and gender norms.
- Recognize the right of all people to experience sexual pleasure without shame or harm to others, or themselves.
- Explore and develop the knowledge, confidence and skills needed to give themselves pleasure, if they choose to.
- Explore and develop the knowledge, confidence and skills needed to give pleasure to a partner, if they choose to.
- Explore, identify and express what matters to them when it comes to sex, pleasure and sexuality.
- Communicate their own sexual desires and limits in a relationship and have these desires and limits respected.
In addition to focusing on these outcomes, health-care providers and community organizations have used a variety of methods to prioritize sexual joy and pleasure in service delivery. This includes education programmes, advocacy campaigns and health-care service delivery.
This can be seen in action in the Ana Autoestima sexuality information and education programme, run by Brazilian organization Tabu Tabu.
Take a deep dive into Ana Autoestima
DELIGHT DIAGNOSTIC: ASSESS YOUR PROJECT OR ORGANIZATION
Assess your project or organization
We invite you to reflect on how your organization, project, or programme relates to the four levels of action that can help facilitate sexual joy:
Increasing individual awareness and capabilities related to sexual joy or related topics such as happiness and pleasure;
Advocating for and strengthening policies and legal frameworks that uphold sexual and reproductive rights, gender equity and sexual joy;
Addressing social and cultural norms that influence the possibility of experiencing sexual joy;
Ensuring that resources—such as education, health services, housing, access to credit, as well as experiential support like having a voice, safety, and resilience—are available and accessible to influence the possibility of experiencing sexual joy.
These areas are facilitators rather than necessary components—people may still experience sexual joy even in challenging contexts.
You can think of these areas as waves that strengthen each other and help create more supportive environments for sexual joy.
Below are some prompts you can use to reflect on your work, how it supports the four levels of action, and how sexual joy shows up in your mission, work, or outcomes—like ripples spreading through different areas.
Consider:
How might your organization’s aims and vision incorporate happiness, enjoyment, or pleasure more explicitly? For example, could your organization:
- Strengthen its focus on promoting young people’s agency, confidence, and emotional well-being? (resources)
- Broaden its understanding of well-being to include more than just physical health?
- Create or expand safe spaces for young people to explore and express what brings them joy or pleasure? (resources)
- Engage more actively with the laws, policies, and institutional rules that affect sexual rights and sexual joy for the communities you serve? (policies and legal frameworks)
If sexual joy is missing from your organization’s vision, how could its inclusion help make waves towards greater gender equity, sexual well-being or other key priorities for your organization (e.g. could including sexual joy make your advocacy work more relatable or memorable)?
Review:
- What outcomes and indicators do you currently use to measure the success of your service/programme? Do any of them relate to happiness, enjoyment or pleasure? Are there ways that you might be able to adjust your outcomes framework to include the concept of sexual joy? (individual awareness and capabilities)
- What do you already know about views and experiences of sexual joy and pleasure in your community? What feedback data is already collected by your service or in your region? Are there any data on sexual satisfaction, pleasure or enjoyment? (social norms)
- Are there safe and appropriate ways you could collect this kind of data? One example that has been tested in different regions globally is the WHO’s Sexual Health Assessment of Practices and Experiences (SHAPE) questionnaire.
ACTIVITIES
Activity 1. Imagining Fulanita
Activity 1. Imagining Fulanita
This activity is designed by Tabu Tabu and modified for these webpages.
It aims to open up conversations about sexual joy and explore what it means to the group.
Invite the group to imagine a woman who experiences sexual joy. You can give her a name (in Brazil we called her Fulanita) or ask participants to choose a name. Invite participants to describe her and/or to draw her.
Then, prompt conversation about sexual joy by asking some of the following questions:
- How does she feel today?
- What sensations does she feel in her body?
- How does she feel about her body as she walks down the street?
- What’s her relationship like with others? Partners? Friends? Family?
- Does she have a job?
- What does she do for pleasure?
- Who does the housework?
- What support services are available to her?
- Who does she talk to when she has doubts about herself?
- What does she know about pleasure, gender, sexuality and sex?
- How does she feel about wanting – or not wanting – sexual pleasure?
- Does she have good sex? What does this look like? Does she have more or less sex than she would like? Does she have sex on her own? Who is the sex for? Who decides?
- How has her sex life led to any other changes in her life? For example, if she has good sex, what effect has this had on her life? If her sex life is not good, how does this affect her (e.g. her attitude, mood, etc)?
Activity 2.What’s changed?: Flashcard sentence starters
Activity 2.What’s changed?: Flashcard sentence starters
Create a series of flashcards using index cards or bits of paper. Write a sentence starter on each card, choosing from these examples or create your own to suit your programme/setting. While it’s important to provide sex-positive sentences, it’s also vital to include sentences that can capture less positive, negative or ambivalent feelings and experiences.
- I feel better able to …
- I am more satisfied with my relationship now that …
- I am less satisfied with my relationship now that …
- I find that sex is more/less … because …
- I am more confident… [doing/seeking/asking/talking/exploring…].
- I am not as confident as I would like to be … [doing/seeking/asking/talking/exploring …].
- I have had less need to…
- One thing that hasn’t changed for me is …
- After a long time, I have finally…
- Something I still struggle with is …
- For the first time, I….
- My partner is telling/showing me that… and this makes me feel…
- I am more able to learn …
- I am more able to enjoy …
- I can take better care of myself when/by …
- I now feel that I have the freedom to decide if/when …
- I now realize that there are limitations to my freedom to decide if/when …
Explain to participants that this activity is meant to explore what the project/programme means for their everyday lives and relationships, with a focus on the positive changes it may bring, while recognizing that some unintended effects may also exist.
Spread the cards out on a table, or place them in a bowl. Invite participants to choose one, read it out loud and answer the question if they feel able to. This exercise was developed by Tabu Tabu and modified by The Pleasure Project.
INDICATOR OF SUCCESS
Input indicators
Number of practitioners trained on sex-positive approaches to provision (e.g. those who are confident in addressing the use of language, delivering pleasure-based education and health services, and providing asset-based guidance).
Number of information and education materials that deliver messages that promote self-esteem, autonomy, self-reflection, learning, joy or self-love.
Number of advocacy or publicity campaigns that deliver messages that promote self-esteem, autonomy, self-reflection, learning, joy or self-love.
For more information and resources to support training and self-assessment, see GAB’s sexual pleasure self-assessment tool and training toolkit.
Outcome indicators
Below are some examples of relevant indicators that have been used in programmes and research. All of these indicators are focused on individuals. This reflects the focus of most of the available research, which is from high-income and industrialized countries:
INDIVIDUAL-LEVEL INDICATORS:
Number/per cent of individuals who report the ability to experience sexual desire and enjoy sex
Number/per cent of individuals who believe that all individuals have the right to say ‘no’ if they do not want to have sex, even with a spouse
Number/per cent of individuals who believe that sexual pleasure is an important dimension of sex for all individuals, regardless of gender
Number/per cent of individuals with increased ability to share responsibility for contraceptive decision making with a partner
Number/per cent of individuals with increased ability to communicate and seek consent for sexual intercourse, sexual readiness and sexual preferences regarding timing.
COMMUNITY-LEVEL INDICATORS:
Per cent of people agreeing that women/men have a right to sexual pleasure
Per cent of media, curricula, or public campaigns that positively reference sexual pleasure
RELATIONSHIP-LEVEL INDICATORS:
Indicators showing narrowing of gender gaps (i.e. number/per cent of females vs males vs other genders) in reporting sexual pleasure
POLICY-/PROGRAMME-LEVEL INDICATOR:
Number/percentage of sexuality education curricula or SRHR policies that explicitly include pleasure/joy as a component of sexual well-being or sexual health
For additional advice about indicators, see Talking Pleasure with Ease, Annex 1: Let’s Measure Pleasure
Immerse youself in the other Domains
