Pleasure News & Views

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Well hello Hauz Kaus Village. HKV  is the Soho or the Greenwich village of Delhi. It’s surrounded by parks and a beautiful lake and tomb – and is filled with antique shops specializing in old Bollywood posters, quirky cafes, wonderful neighbourhood restaurants and an independent bookstore Yodakin.  Now you might remember Yodakin, it was they who asked The Pleasure Project to hold one of our special “Share Your Pleasure” events. It rocked.

So they asked us back. This time to sit and share some fantasies from our safer sofa – during the village open night. Basically the village on open night

credit: Vidura Bahadur

has lots of fantasy potential. All the shops were open and spilled out onto the streets,  and  we sat amongst the knick knacks and read some gorgeous erotica and then encouraged the hordes (and there were) to give us their fantasies into our now famous fantasy box. We asked you what your fantasies are, what turned you on, what you played through your mind as you played with yourself.

 

So guess what we got from the hordes.  We’ll give you some clues – they were a young sexy urban and urbane Delhi crowd. Dressed to the nines. Strolling the lanes of the village.

And out of the 150 fantasies we collected the top 7 topics were …….in this order….

1. Travel – and boy would you love to travel and have sex.  In a “European train carriage” whilst “sky diving naked” “on the 18th hole of Augusta” or very specifically a “threesome with an Afghani and a Baster tribal in Paris under the Lourve”. And our personal haunting favourite ” one night with Candice again (first lover) in Timbaktoo (near Anantpur Village) under a million stars, by Shakti”

2. No surprises here at number 2 – ORGIES and threesomes in all their variety. Harems, lots of firemen, supermodels, lots of money at the orgy, “with the entire band” in a trailer van – you name you want to do it. But of course our personal favourite is “my wish is to engage in all manner of sex, really enjoy it without ever falling sick”. Yep that’s us all over – keep is good’n safe.

3. This might be a Haus Kaus thing (or maybe not) but food and sex fantasies came in at number 3.  You want to “swim in pomegranate seeds” have “chocolate mountains and chocolate fall” or quite unusually threesome with a man doused in maple syrup and a woman wrapped in newspaper”.

Number 4 was (tra ra ra) girl on girl fantasies. In “bath tubs with petals” “wearing a dildo” “getting totally soaked in my partners cunt” and the poignant ” if you were here, we would lean into each other, duck into lanes, extract the real use from each other and life would be good. But you’re not, so I got it alone” . Ahh.

And at number 5 is a category that we classified simply a poetic – we cannot possibly do justice to the term in the space we have here. We will need to come back to it- and especially a wonderful poem that was given to us about bamboo, filtered sunlight and a cool pool of water. But here a taster or the others – your fantasies included “magnificent pink” and “trek to the hidden waterfall and romp naked with caveman beats”.

At number 6 was public sex. You are fantasizing about being super drunk and having sex with people you don’t know ( is that possible in these days of facebook…and oh have the youth of today lost the possibility of the totally anonymous fuck ), to act in porn movies  and even“the library scene from Atonement”.

Lastly we had a couple of very well described scenes where lovers turn into something else – in our case a mermaid or a cat who lived in a house under the water of the Yamuna. They were wonderful and we were there in that moment of morphing lovers as we read them. The “salt touched breasts ” “how you would love every glistening fishy scale before you had to leave heading for dry land again”.

We has a few fantasies very kindly given to us that did not fit any of these categories – and for that reason we are greedily holding them back for another time, another blog. Leaving you fantasy richer with the selection from a fun  Sunday night and with a slight sense of delayed gratification.

After all we don’t want to overwhelm you – but leave you feeling merely satisfied with the Hauz Kaus fantasy deposit into our global open source fantasy collection project. There is, after all,   nothing safer than reading a fantasy.

Enjoy. Thank you Hauz Kaus. We love you….

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So another middle aged straight male is blogging as a lesbian. We are surrounded by lesbian blogger fraud. First the The Gay Girl in Damascus turns out to be the straight bearded boy in Edinburgh. Then a leading lesbian blogger at   Lez Get Real “A gay Girls View on the World” turns out to be a retired construction worker in Ohio.

So it’s a new angle on men fantasising about being with lesbians – now there is a rush to pretend to be one. So we at The Pleasure Project were musing on why. And came up with a few reasons.

1. You get to have sex with women.

2.  You get to live in a huge flat with ironed duvets, have great sex and swim in your pool just by drinking lots of coffee all day.

 

3. It is much easier to HAVE SAFE SEX all the time. Just by virtual of being a gal who loves gals. You can’t get unintentionally pregnant. There is a small number of documented cases of woman to women HIV transmission and much smaller risks than for straight women or gay men. Although women loving women still need to watch that mixing of sexual fluids on uncleaned sex toys or through oral sex. But all that stuff that dykes love – touching each other, wanking each other, eating chocolate spread off nipples, borrowing each others clothes and getting a cat – is good clean fun

So maybe those guys are just plain jealous of all that good.safe.sex. and the double nipples involved in it ?

So we have thought of a new campaign building on the ABC sex education campaign promoted from the US,mainly by religious groups and mainly in Africa to stem the HIV epidemic. We feel inspired by lesbian jealousy to add the D to the ABC.

Abstain

Be Faithful

Condoms

Dyke Sex

 

 

Think its gonna fly ?

 

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May is national masturbation month – a celebration of the joys of self lovin’.

We hope you have been taking this seriously.

Because wanking is not second best or even a last resort.It’s the real deal. And after all, if you don’t know what you like,  how are you going to be able to tell your partners what you like ?

If you have been a good activist wanker – please pat yourself again in celebration.

If you have not been wanking this month.  Shame on you.  But there is still time to spank the monkey before the month ends and feel like a good safe sex activist…..on your own masturbate – a – thon today.

And we wanted to list a few benefits of playing with yourself to start you off.

- orgasms make you live longer, a study found that there was a 50% reduction in death rates in man who orgasmed frequently

- wanking reduces your risk of prostrate cancer ( this only applies for boys ;-)

- wanking reduces infections of the cervix (this only applies for girls ;-)

- wanking increases fertility

- wanking can improve self esteem and reduce depression

- The five knuckle shuffle is not a new thing but an integral part of the human condition. There are depictions of  women enjoying some self love from as far back at 4th C BC in cave drawings.

And  studies show that 95% of men and 71% of women have masturbated during their lives..

So please take your pleasure  into your own hands as national masturbation months draws to a close – and enjoy some good completely safe sex today.

 

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So as we pleasure propagandists know – the main problem with getting men to put it on – is that they say it stops their pleasure.

These are of course, the men who don’t realise yet that they have been missing years of sexy safer sex. The kind of sex where their lover says

“Lie still I’m going to fuck you slowly and slowly so slowly” and  slow like continental drift, they unroll a condom carefully down and around their erect dick  with their wet mouth.

Or they drop some lube in the end to give that warm squishy feeling inside the condom just where it matters.

Or they consult The Pleasure Project’s sexy tips page and get really creative.

Anyhow we digress.

A new condom  has been invented that will enhance its sexiness by putting a gel inside it to make erections last longer.  It works by increasing blood flow to the penis and making it hard for longer.

 

It all sounds good on the good.safe.sex front and similar  to the condoms with a dab of climax controlling or anesthetic gel in them – that make you “so numb you don’t come”.

Showing that a little bit of numbness can be good when it comes to some of that stuff us human beans get up to in the bedroom.

 

 

This new one has been touted as the “Viagra Condom” and should be on the shelves first in the UK.  So it makes erections last longer, so making men (and their partners) keener to use them and also stops condoms sliding off during their softer moments.

The last stage of approval apparently is to ensure that the gel only rubs off on the men not their partners . Hum. Why so ?

 

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Always dutiful, your faithful Pleasure Project reporter is here in Sydney attending the “Festival on the Art of Lust”.

Its a celebration of creative sexuality with artists exploring lust and sexuality. Just to add to your envy , it’s being held in a dance centre overlooking a bay in Sydney. So as I attend workshops intended to improve our sexual skills I can  gaze at the boats  zipping across the bay and glimpse the sun on the opera house.

Although good safe sex is not a focus of the conference my personal mission to talk to artists can help us deliver sex education that is sexy, appealing and accessible.

So I have to admit I started the day by being too shy to attend naked yoga. Aimed at getting you comfortable with your body. Just too much too quick for this intrepid reporter.

But I did go to two workshops both aimed at how to negotiate the type of sex or play  you want. This I hoped to be able to expand to increase safer sex.

So the day started with a workshop where half of us were blindfold and half not – the blindfolded people were encouraged to shout, push, avoid the touch they did not like. We explored through a series of gradually more daring exercises how to say no or how to accept the touch we liked. We focused on saying no in different ways. Shouting it, hitting back or escaping from it. It felt strange to touch strangers and sometimes have them tell you in no uncertain terms to leave them alone – but also respond positively. We could always use a safe word to make people leave us alone.

It’s rare that we have the opportunity to practise reacting to touch and fighting back. I imagine that women who have to deal with fairly constant sexual harassment, in many parts of the world, on public transport or other public spaces, might enjoy the chance to sharpen their reactions and the loudness of their “nos”.

There was also a workshop about “playfighting” – the kind of roll about puppy like play that we stop  as we grow up. It was surprising great fun. Again learning to let go and fight in a fun way.  We started with only our hands fighting and ended up rolling around with complete strangers giggling as we wrestled each other to the ground. And some of these Australian men are quite large and quite strong.

So all in all , it was a much more physical day than I expected, and not at all like a sexual health conference.

More from the frontline of lust, in your service, tomorrow.

 

 

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orgasm 1

orgasm photos

A friend well into her thirties recently asked me  what an orgasm felt like. She had never had one. To be honest I struggled with the words to describe it beyond the cliches of waves, hills and galloping white horses………but now in Delhi there is an exhibition that could just help.

“Orgasm”  is an exhibition to try and capture the essence of them by photographer Sunil Mane at Gallery Nvya. The exhibition is in a rather quiet staid Delhi mall and when I was there was surprisingly completely quiet. Maybe everyone in Delhi knows what orgasms look like.

The curators statement highlights the “brewing storm, the anticipation, the reaching out” that the photographer has attempted to capture with his pictures. It’s certainly an ambitious one.  Here are a couple of my favourites ….. although to be honest without the exhibition title I would probably not have guessed the subject matter. But I really liked the bold attempt and the use of photography to capture such an abstract concept. We do not after all get enough orgasm education.

When I went there I asked Paril the Gallery Manager how reaction had been to the images, she said that lots more people came (ho hum) than to usual exhibitions and the older people were fine, but  young people were more shocked. Bucking the myth that older people are more prudish when it comes to enjoying sexual pleasures. Or maybe with the grace of time more of them had had orgasms and were less worried about it….

I was most fascinated by the metal spoon, magnet and oil in the gallery that the photographer had used to make the  oil dance  then photograph with a huge magnifying lens. What that says about my orgasms I don’t know…….

 

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