Exercise

Name Graffiti

Synopsis

This exercise helps the trainers and participants to learn each other’s names and become comfortable with them. It is simple and only requires some flipchart sheets and different coloured pens.

Objective

To introduce trainers and participants

Approximate Time

20 minutes

Materials Needed

4 Flipchart sheets stuck togetherColoured pens – several colours

Steps

Place the flipchart sheets in the middle of the floor together with the coloured pens.
Explain to participants that you would like them in turn, when they feel ready, to take a pen and write their first name on the paper and say something about it: for example what they like about their name, what they like to be called, etc.
You should begin and model this exercise.
When all the names are on the paper these should be displayed at the training venue (e.g. stuck on the wall) for future reference. It also helps trainers to remember the names of participants.

Tips for Trainers

You could explain the concept of graffiti to participants in case they do not know what it means. One meaning is: writing or drawings that have been scribbled, scratched, or sprayed illicitly on a wall or other surface in a public place.
Be as creative as you can when you write your name down to begin with, to cue participants to become less formal.

Synopsis

This exercise helps participants to get to know each other as well as establishing a democratic environment in the training space. This is done by asking participants what they would like to learn about each other and then getting them to answer those questions they feel most comfortable with.

Objective

To facilitate introductions

Approximate Time

30 Minutes

Materials Needed

Flipcharts
Marker Pens

Steps

Ask participants to brainstorm a list of key things they would like to know about each other.
As they do so, write these onto a flipchart.
Depending on the size of the group the next part of the exercise can be done either in plenary or in small groups.
Ask participants in a round to introduce themselves covering those topics from the list with which they feel comfortable.
This exercise, particularly when conducted in small groups, can help to develop the sense of intimacy a group will need to explore sensitive issues.

Tips for Trainers

In the beginning, if participants don’t respond, you may have to provide a couple of examples of questions like, ‘Where have you travelled from for this workshop?’ or ‘If you had a superpower, what would it be?’, etc.
Try to have a list of between five and ten questions for people to pick and choose from.
If participants seem relaxed already about coming to a pleasure and sexual health course you might add to the list, ‘what else do you need to know about pleasure?’

Synopsis

This exercise helps participants and trainers to arrive at the same page with regard to the purpose of the workshop and what participants can hope to gain from it. It also helps to ensure that participants know exactly what they can or cannot learn at this forum.

Objective

To clarify participants’ expectations from the training

Approximate Time

40 Minutes

Materials Needed

Flipchart
Pens

Steps

Write the objectives of the workshop at the top of a large piece of paper each:
1. Explore key elements of sexuality
2. Explore some of our own feelings, values and attitudes
3. Practice communication skills
Divide participants into three groups.
Give one sheet to each group and ask them to have a discussion for 20 minutes, which will help each person in the group to clarify the most important things which they wish to learn from this course.
When they have done this, these can be written on the sheet.
Stick the sheets on the wall or place them on the floor where everyone can see them.
It is important that you are clear with participants if there are any items on the sheets which you feel unable to address and why.

Tips for Trainers

This exercise could also throw up some new areas for exploration that the course currently does not address. Keep track of these and send a recommendation to The Pleasure Project!

Synopsis

It is important to acknowledge that participants may have fears and anxieties in relation to discussing sexual matters. This activity provides an opportunity to articulate these in a non-threatening way and for trainers to provide reassurance.

Objective

To acknowledge participants’ concerns about discussing sex and pleasure

Approximate Time

30 Minutes

Materials Needed

Pieces of paper
Pens

Steps

Ask each participant to take a piece of paper and a pen and to complete (in silence) the following sentence:
The thing that scares me most about talking about sex and pleasure here is………………………………………….
When everyone has done this, gather all the pieces of paper and redistribute them among participants ensuring that no one has his or her own paper.
Ask each participant, in turn, to read out what is written on the piece of paper they are holding. Ask them to do this slowly so that you can note down the key points which emerge.
When this is completed, talk through the concerns offering reassurance as appropriate.
Explain that the group will decide for itself a set of ground rules or working agreements which will help people to feel safe enough to participate to the degree that they feel able.

Tips for Trainers

To distribute the pieces of paper, you could use the ‘snowball fight’ technique, i.e. ask participants to crunch their pieces of papers into balls and throw these around at each other like a snowball fight. Once all the papers have gotten distributed around the training space, participants can pick up the ball of paper next to them to read out loud.

Synopsis

This exercise is meant to establish an open, non-judgemental and safe working environment amongst the participants. The working agreement arrived at through this exercise will enhance ownership over the workshop as well as over personal learning among the participants.

Objective

To establish a set of working agreements that will facilitate participation

Approximate Time

30 Minutes

Materials Needed

Flipchart
Pens

Steps

Explain to participants that if the group is to work and learn together in a constructive way, it will be important to have a set of ground-rules or working agreements, which are a kind of contract between all the members of the group. These should cover issues such as confidentiality, listening to each other, allowing everyone to participate, etc.
Divide the participants into fours and fives and ask each small group to discuss and agree on three agreements which they will propose to the remainder of the group. Ask them to consider specifically what will be needed in order for people to feel able to talk in this setting about sex and pleasure (e.g. assumptions about people and disclosure).
When the small groups have completed this task re-assemble in plenary and ask the groups to tell the others their rules in turn and see if the others agree to them or not.
All those rules which are agreed to by everyone should be written on a sheet of paper stuck on the wall and left there as a reminder to participants throughout the course.

Processing – ask participants:
1. How did it feel to participate in that activity?
2. What did you learn from the activity?

Synopsis

This exercise goes deeper into participant’s attitudes towards discussing sex and pleasure. It enables participants to discuss their boundaries and comfort zones and learn from each other’s levels of confidence.

Objective

To explore participants’ comfort with talking about sex and pleasure

Approximate Time

30 Minutes

Materials Needed

None

Steps

Ask everyone to stand up and when they do so draw an imaginary line down the middle the room.
Explain that this is a continuum which ranges from completely agree at one end of the line to completely disagree at the other. You can stick sheets of paper accordingly at each end of the continuum.
Explain that you will call out a series of statements and that participants should place themselves immediately on the line in relation to how they feel in response to the statement.
When everyone has placed themselves on the line, participants should have a brief conversation with whoever is standing nearest to them as to why they have each placed themselves where they are.
When this conversation dies down call out the next statement:

• I feel relaxed at the prospect of talking about sex and pleasure during this workshop
• I think I know more than enough already about sex and pleasure
• Sexual pleasure matters more to men than to women
• Pleasure is the main reason why people have sex

Tips for Trainers

You can try a variation on this exercise by asking specific participants at different parts of the line to share in plenary why they are placed where they are. This enables a broader discussion with the group and more opinions to be aired, as well as ensuring that people at opposite ends of the spectrum are also able to hear each other’s views.
A different version of this exercise asks the participants to sit along the line according to how masculine or feminine they are with one end being extremely masculine and one end extremely feminine. Of course, biological gender does not have to be the defining factor.

Synopsis

This exercise can be used at different points in the course to energise participants as well as encourage self-disclosure in a non-threatening manner. Self-disclosure in the area of sex and pleasure enables participants to bust some their own myths and assumptions about people who they think they know. It is also a good technique to help participants realise that they are perhaps not alone in being or doing a particular thing.

Objective

Energiser
To increase comfort with self-disclosure

Approximate Time

15 Minutes

Materials Needed

A chair for each participant

Steps

Explain to participants that this exercise is both an "energiser" and a way of making some tentative steps towards self-disclosure.
Emphasise that participants should only make disclosures with which they feel comfortable.
Ask everyone to stand up and arrange their chairs in a circle in the centre of the training space. Remove one chair from the circle so that there is one chair less than the total number of participants. Ask for a volunteer to stand in the middle of the circle to start off the exercise. Alternatively, the trainer should start the exercise.
Whoever is in the middle of the circle must make a statement which is true for them and which is likely to be true for others in the group.
They should begin:
"all those who .....………...... change chairs"
and all those for whom this statement is true change chairs immediately and as quickly as possible.
The person left in the middle calls out the next statement.
The first handful of statements should be non-sexual to get participants moving: for instance, they can relate to appearance "All those with brown eyes", or “All those who are over 20 years old”.
When the atmosphere is more relaxed, encourage participants to make statements relating more explicitly to sexuality, e.g. “All those who are married” or “All those who like to talk about sex” Processing – ask participants:

• How did you feel when the exercise began?
• How do you feel about the disclosures you and others made?
• How did you feel when the exercise ended?
• What do you think the exercise did for the group?

Tips for Trainers

You can use this exercise at any time during the training. It could be an exercise that you keep coming back to over the course with more and more explicit disclosures, some of which could be points of discussion (in a generalised manner, ensuring that particular participants are not discussed) in plenary.
Be sensitive to any personal or intimate disclosures that could generate shock or judgement from other participants. Set the example by being supportive and non-judgemental.

Synopsis

This is an exercise that can be repeated each day as the course progresses, while encouraging participants to become more and more open about sexual pleasure. It is an anonymous and non-threatening way to enable participants to unpack the concept of pleasure and what it means to different people.

Objective

To practice thinking and talking about pleasure

Approximate Time

20 Minutes

Materials Needed

Pieces of paper
Box

Steps

Ask participants to take a slip of paper and complete the following sentence:
“I get pleasure from ………………”
The slips should be placed in the box, shuffled, redistributed and read out in turn by participants.
This exercise can be repeated the following day, focusing on sexual pleasure.

Tips for Trainers

The first time you do this exercise, you can explain to participants that pleasure is derived from many different things in life. The meaning of pleasure is as diverse as there are people in the world. Encourage people to describe their pleasures from non-sexual avenues for the first time.
For subsequent sessions of the exercise, you can discuss sexual pleasure and dispel any disgust or surprise arising from sexual acts or practices written about.

Synopsis

This is an exercise that can be repeated each day as the course progresses, while encouraging participants to become more and more open about sexual pleasure. It is an anonymous and non-threatening way to enable participants to unpack the concept of pleasure and what it means to different people.

Objective

To practice thinking and talking about pleasure

Approximate Time

20 Minutes

Materials Needed

Pieces of paper
Box

Steps

Ask participants to take a slip of paper and complete the following sentence:
“I get pleasure from ………………”
The slips should be placed in the box, shuffled, redistributed and read out in turn by participants.
This exercise can be repeated the following day, focusing on sexual pleasure.

Tips for Trainers

The first time you do this exercise, you can explain to participants that pleasure is derived from many different things in life. The meaning of pleasure is as diverse as there are people in the world. Encourage people to describe their pleasures from non-sexual avenues for the first time.
For subsequent sessions of the exercise, you can discuss sexual pleasure and dispel any disgust or surprise arising from sexual acts or practices written about.

Synopsis

This is an exercise that can be repeated each day as the course progresses, while encouraging participants to become more and more open about sexual pleasure. It is an anonymous and non-threatening way to enable participants to unpack the concept of pleasure and what it means to different people.

Synopsis

This is a quiz, intended to increase participants’ understanding of sexual function and the physiology of pleasure. The discussion questions at the end of the quiz enable a deeper discussion on sex, its physiology and notions of pleasure.

Objective

To increase understanding of sexual functioning and the physiological basis of sexual pleasure

Approximate Time

60-90 Minutes

Steps

Distribute the quiz to the participants.
Explain that the quiz is a participatory way of sharing some relevant information.
Ask participants to complete the quiz alone to begin with, taking just a few minutes to do so.
When they are ready, ask them to form small groups. They should take 15 minutes to compare and discuss their answers and see if they can reach consensus.
In plenary, take feedback from the small groups on each question and discuss.

Tips for Trainers

The trainer should be well prepared for the discussion questions at the end of the quiz. Recommended reading includes ‘Everything you wanted to know about pleasurable safer sex but were afraid to ask. Twenty questions on sex, pleasure and health’ by Wendy Knerr and Anne Philpott, The Pleasure Project.

Synopsis

This is a self-reflection exercise, allowing participants to look back into their lives and examine when they became conscious of pleasure in general and sexual pleasure in particular.

Objective

To increase sensitivity and understanding of how participants’ own experiences of pleasure and sex can affect their own attitudes and values and their responses to others.

Approximate Time

75 Minutes

Materials Needed

Paper and pens for each participant

Steps

Ask participants to think about their favourite meal.
They don’t have to tell anyone about it but rather just enjoy the memory of it. What about a favourite sound? Smell?
Explain to participants that if we are to be able to talk successfully about sexual pleasure, it can be useful to explore our experiences of pleasure.
Ask participants to choose their partner for this exercise now, so that when the time comes, they can go into pairs with minimum disruption to other participants. The person they choose should be someone with whom they feel comfortable to share some personal material.
Ask participants to find a place in the room where they feel comfortable and can focus on the exercise without distraction. If the room allows for it they may want to lie down on the floor. They should relax and listen to your voice. Allow a few minutes for this.
Explain the following:
“Imagine yourself in a place where you feel completely relaxed and safe. There is a photograph album of your life. Inside the album on each page, there is a different picture of you at different stages of your life.
The first page is a photo of you as a baby. On the next, you as a toddler, then as you turn the pages there Is you starting primary school, secondary school, beginning puberty, becoming a young adult, and finally as you are now. Look at these photos and think about yourself at each of these ages. Think about different senses – taste – touch – hearing – smell – looking and how these give you pleasure as a baby? As an infant? As an older child? At puberty? As a young adult? As you are now?
Now, think now about sex…when did you first become aware of yourself as a sexual person? When did you first feel sexual pleasure? What did it feel like? And now, how does it feel to be a sexual person? What makes you feel sexy? What makes you feel good about yourself as a sexual person?”
When you have finished, they should take time to draw or write on their paper whatever has come into their mind. This may be in words, pictures or diagrams. Allow 15-20 minutes for this. They should then get together with their partner. It is important that they divide the next 30 minutes equally between them. This is not a conversation. One of them will be talking and the other listening. They will then change roles.
Processing:
It may be most appropriate to process the exercise in support pairs or groups, paying attention to the experience of the exercise and the learning from it.
It may be useful for the trainer to begin the processing by drawing attention to the fact that change IS possible, and to ask participants to consider the messages they would like to give to their clients or those over whom they have influence e.g. their own children.
Ask participants:
What did you learn about yourself from that exercise?

Tips for Trainers

Such an exercise could lead to bad memories surfacing as well. Before going into the workshop, try and arrange contact with a support group or counsellor who can help people that may have experienced sexual or other violence.
Before launching into the exercise, clarify that while you may not be trained to help participants deal with negative emotions, you can point them to somebody who they can talk to.

Synopsis

This exercise helps participants to articulate colloquial words related to specific sexual acts and makes them think about whether or not they know the language used by various possible clients they could have. It helps highlight the lack of information programme planners and implementers often have with relation to sexual acts and language.

Objective

To practice talking explicitly about sex

Approximate Time

45-60 Minutes

Steps

It is probably best to conduct this activity in single-sex groups.
Be sensitive to any reluctance in relation to this activity. Emphasise its purpose and relevance to the work of participants.
Encourage everyone to try the activity but allow those who feel very uncomfortable to opt-out.
Divide the participants into single-sex groups of around five or six.
Give each group a copy of the worksheet and ask them to complete this, filling in the words which they think the different people would really use.
Processing – ask the participants:

• How did it feel to participate in that activity?
• Did your feelings change as the activity went on? If so in what ways?
• How do you feel now?
• What were the main differences between the vocabularies used by the different people?
• Was there a gender difference among the different characters? If so how would you describe this?
• Were any of the vocabularies more or less acceptable to you personally?
• How would this affect you if you were to have a conversation about sexual matters with one of these people? Which vocabulary, if any, would you wish to use?

Tips for Trainers

Depending on the context you are conducting this training in, you might like to have separate groups of sexually active / inactive females and males or age-based divisions of the groups. This is to ensure that younger or unmarried women and men are also able to contribute freely to the discussion in highly hierarchical or hetero-normative contexts.
Participants have found this exercise extremely enlightening, in that, they have realised that they actually do not possess the vocabulary to discuss sex, sexual acts and pleasure with their clients.
Emphasise the importance of learning this vocabulary and being aware of the exact meaning of different words to ensure that messages do not get diluted or misunderstood.
Note any differences in the amount of words the male group is able to fill in versus the amount of words the female group knows. Highlight any gender differences that are apparent, i.e. it is okay for men to use these terms but not for women, therefore they never learn about them. You could discuss the effect this has on women’s knowledge of their own anatomy and therefore their (lack of) ‘access’ to sexual pleasure.

Synopsis

This exercise provides participants with the opportunity to explore ideas of sex and pleasure as held by the other sex. They are asked to come up with three questions that they would like to ask the other sex around sex and pleasure.

Objective

To explore gender dimensions of talking about sex and pleasure

Approximate Time

45-60 Minutes

Materials Needed

None

Steps

This exercise provides a structured opportunity for an exchange between men and women about their experience of gender, sex and pleasure and requires a great deal of trust within the group if it is to be productive.
It is most likely to be successful when there are roughly equal numbers of male and female participants. It will be important to remind participants of their ground-rules before beginning the activity: such as treating each other with respect and listening without judging.
Divide the group up into two, one of men and one of women.
Explain that they will have an opportunity to ask the other group three questions about sex and pleasure.
You will need to assist both groups to negotiate the kind of questions which should and should not be asked before they go off (preferably to separate rooms) to draw up their lists.
There are at least three increasingly challenging ways to do this: i. You provide the questions or topics for each group to discuss: e.g.

• “men and women should know without being told how to give sexual pleasure to their partner”
• “men are more sexually driven than women”
• “condoms can make sex better”

ii. The groups make up the questions and deliberate their answers in private, electing spokespersons to feedback their responses to the other group
iii. The groups take it, in turn, to observe (in silence) each other’s discussions
Processing – ask the participants:

• How did the two groups approach this exercise?
• What did it feel like to do it?
• Did anything surprise you?
• What have you learned about yourself/others?

Synopsis

This exercise helps participants to critically analyse the reasons behind usage or non-usage of condoms, what it has to do with pleasure and how it ties into people’s reasons for having sex. It also helps highlight the gender differences in the reasons for having sex, depending on the context that this exercise is done in.

Objective

To explore possibilities for promoting male and female condoms as a means of enhancing sexual pleasure

Approximate Time

60 Minutes

Materials Needed

Flipchart
Marker pens

Steps

Divide participants into four groups, giving each group marker pens and paper.
Ask them to brainstorm all the reasons they can think of in answer to the question posed to their group:
Group 1: Why do people use condoms?
Group 2: Why don’t people use condoms?
Group 3: Why do men have sex?
Group 4: Why do women have sex?
Allow 15-20 minutes for this.
Stick all the sheets on the wall and get participants to walk around and look at the lists.
Add blank sheets and ask participants to write in any reasons which appear in two or more of the other lists.
Processing – ask participants:

• What is the balance between the four lists?
• Which heading has the most items under it?
• Was it easier to think of negative or positive things?
• How could we build up the positives?
• Which items appear in more than one list?
• What does this tell us about sexual pleasure?

Synopsis

The exercise compels participants to project condoms and lubricant as pleasure enhancing products. This helps them understand the possibilities that exist in messaging around condoms (both female and male), apart from those around fear and disease.

Objective

To identify and promote pleasure-focused advantages of male and female condoms and lubricant

Approximate Time

45 Minutes

Materials Needed

Male and female condoms, lubricant

Steps

Divide participants into six groups. Two groups will work on male condoms, two on female condoms and two on lubricant.
Explain that they have 20 (or more) minutes in their groups to identify ways of convincing the others of the advantages of their product, focusing on sexual pleasure.
Each group presents to the others – again you can ask them to do a one minute pitch or a 5-minute pitch. You can use video or iPhones to record the ‘pitch’
Processing – ask participants:

• How easy or difficult was that activity?
• Which points were most/least convincing?
• What can we learn from the activity?

Tips for Trainers

You can pitch this activity as one where the groups have to make an advertisement / TV commercial.
The exercise can be made more interesting and creative by telling participants that they cannot use words like fear, danger, infection, contraception, etc. in their pitch.
It can also be a competition between the groups with the most convincing advertisement winning a small prize – keep some candies or other easy to obtain and inexpensive items handy to give out to the winning group members. Participants become quite enthusiastic with the competition scenario and can be quite creative.

Synopsis

This is a practice exercise that provides participants with the opportunity to apply some of their learning as well as receive constructive feedback on their reactions and advice to mock clients. It enables an analysis in the end of the manner in which different situations can be handled and which would be the most effective.

Objective

To practice talking about sex and sexual pleasure

Approximate Time

45-60 Minutes

Steps

Explain that the purpose of this exercise is to give participants an opportunity to practice talking about sex and sexual pleasure by exposing them to a range of different situations relevant to their work.
They will have the opportunity to receive feedback from several different ‘clients’ and as ‘clients’ they get to experience different approaches to talking about these issues.
Divide participants into two groups. Ask one group to sit on the inner circle, facing outwards. Ask the others to sit opposite them in the outer circle. Explain that those sitting on the inner circle are the professionals and those on the outside are the clients. There will be an opportunity to change roles.
Give each of the 'clients' a situation card to present to the professional and tell them to explain to the professional if the role outlined in their card is different to them in ways that are not obvious to others (e.g. if they are playing a 15 year old).
Explain to the professionals that they will have three minutes to respond to each situation before you call time. There will then be two minutes for feedback from the 'client'. It is essential that this feedback is constructive: it should be focused upon how specifically what was done or said affected the 'client', and if appropriate, what they could have done differently.
After the feedback, call time and ask the 'clients' to move one seat clockwise while the professionals stay where they are and repeat the activity.
Do this as many times as feels necessary or until participants get tired.
When it is time to change roles, ask participants to change chairs and the service-users to move one seat clockwise before beginning again in their different roles.
Processing – ask participants:

• As a client, what did you find most useful in what was said to you?
• What was least useful?
• What were the most important similarities among the responses?
• What were the most important differences?
• What did you find most enjoyable about this activity?
• What did you find most difficult?
• What did you learn about yourself from the activity?
• What did you learn in relation to the work you do?

Tips for Trainers

Ensure that participants understand what ‘giving feedback’ means. They must not be judgemental or provide value-laden feedback. Instead, their role is to state facts and explain how these affect the ‘client’.
You could try a variation on this exercise with a short plenary discussion after each round of conversations. This can result in subsequent client simulations getting better, based on the feedback discussed together.
If you have less participants, instead of the carousel, you could try the fishbowl method where two participants volunteer to be the client and the professional. They are placed face-to-face in the centre of the circle with all other participants being the (silent) observers. After each interaction, there can be a plenary discussion on the observations and feedback, followed by a new pair coming into the fishbowl to simulate an interaction.
You can adjust the ages given in the situation cards, depending on the client group your participants deal with.

Synopsis

This session enables participants to look closely at work that has happened in using the pleasure approach and identify areas that can be applied to their own work. It will also help them to make their action plan in the end of the course, with some concrete activities.

Objective

To identify lessons learned from examples and consider their application to participants’ own work

Approximate Time

60 Minutes

Materials Needed

Copies of the case studies

Steps

Provide a general overview of the case studies, explaining why they were chosen.
Divide participants into four groups and give one example to each group.
Ask participants to read through the example before identifying its key features (e.g. the target audience, the nature of the intervention, etc.).
Ask participants to identify what, if any, adaptations they would have to make if they were to apply the example in their own work.
Present the outcomes of the small group discussions.

Synopsis

This exercise is meant to facilitate participants to develop an action plan emerging from the course which they can put in place to improve the effectiveness of their own work and adopt a pleasure approach.

Objective

To facilitate the application of the training to participants’ own work

Approximate Time

> 90 Minutes

Steps

Divide participants into their work teams
Make sure each group has at least one copy of their own curriculum and at least one set of all the activities used in the training
Explain that the purpose of the activities is for them to review their own curricula, looking for opportunities in which they could include or adapt the activities to make their curricula more sex-positive and pleasure focused
Allow 60 minutes for this and provide support and suggestions as necessary
Allow 15 minutes for each group to feedback to plenary on the outcomes of their discussions