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Sexin’ up Shoreditch

15/10/2011 in *What We're Up To, Meetings & Publications, News About Us, People We Like, Pleasure News & Views by Annie | No comments

The Pleasure Project gave a presentation this week at the offices of Plan International and Interact Worldwide in London, in achingly hip east London’s Shoreditch. We we very excited because these are charities that do amazing work to improve the health and quality of people’s lives globally. Also Interact Worldwide is very clear about it’s commitment through its programmes to The right to a safe and pleasurable sex life. Woo Hoo.

kissing Many other cool things happen in this neighbourhood. Madonna holds birthday parties. Kate Moss has casual drinks. Keira Knightly kisses a man in the high street. The Pleasure Project does a sexy female condom demo just off the high street.

We have to admit that we have been to Shoreditch in a pleasure propaganda capacity before – to talk to the African HIV Network about good.safe.sex.

But we had never  talked quite so dirty about female condoms there. It’s gonna to catch on and be all the rage in about 5 minutes. Watch this space.

The people gathered by Interact Worldwide were great;  interested to know more about what is a pleasure approach to sex education and wanting to know how to make it happen. They had some really interesting questions;

  • how to we sex up safer sex without tapping into stereotypes of women
  • how to work with faith based groups to get good safe  sex into African  church hospitals
  • how to incorporate pleasure into  campaigns about the danger of multiple sexual relationships
  • how to increase sexual skills for good sex as well as safe sex

They were all very sweet about the presentation and discussion and had this to say.

In our work on sexual and reproductive health in Africa and Asia we tend to focus so much on the prevention of disease and negative  ideas of sex and sexuality.We tend to talk about people’s right to pursue pleasurable sex but often struggle with taking this approach when we implement our programmes. Now we feel more confident being able to say not only is it people’s right, it also supports people being able to more successfully negotiate safer sex for themselves. Rutti Goldberger, Programme Advisor

A woman who can negotiate pleasurable sex can negotiate safer sex, and indeed can negotiate almost anything! So very true, and yet so very challenging to achieve in many of the contexts in which we work, but let’s keep trying! My mind is now positively whirring with ideas for collaborating and incorporating the pleasure project’s no-nonsense principles into our work on reproductive health and sex education for adolescents with our partner organisations in Ethiopia, Malawi and Uganda.                     Ceri Angood, Africa Programme Manager

I was struck by the fact that the HIV world has done a far better job of including pleasure in their approach to safer sex, but this still doesn’t seem to be the case with contraception and family planning. This is definitely something that Interact wants to take forward with our partners in future. Alan Smith, COO of Interact

Others said that they liked to hear about actual examples of work where people are sexing up safer sex and want to do more to make their work with young people relevant, engaging and more mainstream.

By chance there was a big news story that day on the BBC about the views of teenagers of their sex education, which provided a good context that young people’s sex education in the UK is failing to be relevant.

A survey conducted by Brook UK, a leading UK sexual health organisation found that only a third of young people surveyed in the UK felt that their school sex education was good and 72% of those surveyed wanted more say in what is included in their sex education. British young people were also asked “where they learnt about sex ?”  and not surprisingly over a third said they learn about sex from a friend and 5% from online pornography.

It provided an apt and timely reminder that sex education tends to fail young people not only in the UK but also globally. It’s a good time to remember that pleasure is one if not the key motivation for sex for us all.

“Rail against it, repress it, and moralize it ad infinitum; nevertheless, sex will find a way.” Abramson and Pinkerton .

 

 

UK Government Safer Sex poster 2006

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International AIDS Conference: Blog 3: the pleasure and intimacy of bareback sex

08/09/2011 in *What We're Up To, Guest Bloggers, Meetings & Publications, News About Us by Annie | 2 comments

The 10th  International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific has just finished in Busan, Korea. On behalf of The Pleasure Project, our brave reporter Revati  hunted out mentioned of good safe sex or any mention of pleasure in sex education at the conference.

Revati is an old time pleasure propagandist who has written sexy tips and  run pleasure workshops.  So she is well equip to seek erotic safe sex in Busan.

Here is her third and final  post. She found someone talking about sexual pleasure as a motivation for sex.

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I’ve been at the Asia Pacific AIDS conference for a week and so far, in all the sessions I have attended, only one person has spoken about pleasure and the need to recognise pleasure as a key motivator for safe or unsafe sex and that was a question from the audience.

But hurrah. At last I found someone who confronted the elephant in the room. Dr Malonzo, from Brokenshire College in The Phillipines, please step forward and take a bow.

Dr Malonzo’s study looks at why men having sex with men choose not to us condoms, or have “intentionally condom-less sex” aka “bare-backing”. bare- backing was initially a description used in the 1990′s  by HIV positive men who declared their intention to have sex with other HIV positive men without condoms. It has now become the term used to describe condom less sex in a more generic view, regardless of HIV status. So for example, there are pornography studios who specialise in bare back films, sex workers or dating sites who use the term.  Dr Malonzo studies the current phenomenon in Davao City in The Philippines in interviews with 40 young gay men.

Many of them felt that bareback sex feels good, is their own choice and demonstrates intimacy in their relationships.

Although knowledge was not always great, quite a number of the men thought that HIV could be transmitted in the hot tub or swimming pool. But all the participants knew that condom-less anal sex carried considerable risk.

The study recommends that there should be more focus on testing and signs of HIV infection and “ Focus on the men’s desire for intimacy, closeness, and pleasure needs”

So people we need to think harder about how we can replace bare-backing with other ways of getting intimacy or feeling intimate. Unfortunately condom-less sex has become a sign of  trust, a deeper relationship or commitment.

So pleasure seekers, what could be the replacement ?


 

 

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The International AIDS Conference:Blog 2: Discovering Pleasure in Korea

03/09/2011 in *What We're Up To, Guest Bloggers, Meetings & Publications, News About Us, People We Like by guest blogger | No comments

The 10th  International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific has just finished in Busan, Korea. On behalf of The Pleasure Project, our brave reporter Revati  hunted out mentioned of good safe sex or any mention of pleasure in sex education at the conference.

Revati is an old time pleasure propagandist who has written sexy tips, run pleasure workshops at the Colombo AIDS Conference where she diplomatically pointed out that maybe a woman’s head could be part of a pleasure body mapping. So she is well equip to seek erotic safe sex in Busan.

Here is her second  post.

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I just came out of a satellite session on Sexual and Reproductive Health and HIV integration called   “Is SRH/HIV Integration serving the needs of key populations?”

There were four presenters, and two discussants. the presenters covered service provision to men who have sex with men and trans gender groups, and one was on sex workers.

One presenter – Sunita Grote from the AIDS Alliance, spoke about the need to reach young people who are affected by AIDS.  At the end of the presentation, two people were given time to speak and one of them was Milinda – from Youth LEAD. His posed a brave question asking about

“ Why the available services are not being youth friendly and that messages around pleasure are missing in the discourse around sex when talking to young people ?”

(three cheers for Milinda, The Pleasure Project).

The moderator of the session agreed and in his concluding remarks he said that one of the key issues from this session was the need to provide youth friendly sexual health  services including HIV services that do not forgetting that people have sex for pleasure and that sex with only an association with disease needs to stop being the focus.

For the first time in any of the sessions I attended, I heard the words sex for pleasure being mentioned.

I shall keep on hunting…

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Do we meet your desires ?

22/07/2011 in *What We're Up To, News About Us, Pleasure News & Views by Annie | No comments
the pleasure project

We love Good. Safe. Sex.

And we know you do too.

But what do you think of us, The Pleasure Project, and how we promote it ?

Pushing our Pleasure Propaganda. Do you like what we are doing?

Want us to do more of the same…or ease off a little?

Tell us straight. Don’t hold back.

The Pleasure Project wants to know and share exactly what you think of us and our work over the past few years. We are  re-vamping and want to know what to stop, what to start and what we could carry on pleasing you with.

What are you waiting for? Just click here on this survey. It will only take 10 minutes. You can give us your views till 15 August 2011.

 
Send it other pleasure seekers.
Don’t forget to check out our latest news here at our blog or on our website.

We have been collecting Indian fantasies, seeing what orgasms and playdoh porn look like, asking writers like Candace Bushnell why they drop the safe sex and trying to get academics to take academics to take pleasure seriously. You have been warned, if you don’t read them you are missing out.

If its been a while since you’ve heard from us. Why not take a moment to update your profile? We’ll try to be in touch a bit more regularly, but remember that you can also get updates from our blog and facebook page!

Do you know what we have been doing in 2011?


 

We have collected over 250 home grown fantasies and read them at 3 events in Delhi. It’s good safe sex.

We have learnt about play doh porn, orgasm prizes and secrets of our sex drives in Glasgow.

We explored the frontiers of lust at The Festival on the Art of Lust in Sydney. Where Ethical Sluts talk us about good.safe.sex
Update your profile here.

Copyright (C) 2011 The Pleasure Project All rights reserved.

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Keeping our eyes on the orgasm prize might just be a distraction

12/07/2011 in Guest Bloggers, Meetings & Publications, News About Us, Pleasure News & Views, Sexy Tips by Annie | No comments

This is our third and final post from Arushi at the World Sexual Health Congress in Glasgow, where she also explored the wonderful world of the orgasm.

Score one for pleasure

Orgasm – the word itself is orgasmic. It begins with making your mouth open into the O of wonder, astonishment and exciting shock and ends with your mouth closed in an mmmm of pleasure, contentment and satisfaction. Right? Hmm, not necessarily actually!

I learnt about the tome which is used by psychologists, psychiatrists, sex and relationship therapists, sexologists and other health professionals to help their diagnoses and treatments. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has been revised several times, including the time when homosexuality was struck off it as a mental disorder.

According to the DSM, most sexual dysfunctions are defined as either not having an orgasm during sex or having one too quickly. So does that mean that orgasm is or should be the main outcome of sexual intercourse  and  sexual activity? No, says  Dr Meg Barker. Orgasms mean different things to different people and constitute different experiences, from an expression of power to a mechanical release or a display of intimacy.

This is why, she says that sex and relationship therapy aimed at enabling orgasms and being goal focused rather than pleasure focused is forcing norms on people that just don’t fit.

Sexual satisfaction shouldn’t just be about having an orgasm.

Guess who agrees with her? Dr. Beverly Whipple – yup, the one who told us all about the G-spot! She emphasised the need to be pleasure oriented rather than orgasm oriented. An orgasm is not an end in itself and all the other activities, commonly considered to ‘lead up’ to the orgasm, like kissing, holding, touching, are each an end in themselves. Also, the idea really is to experience an orgasm, rather than be under pressure to ‘reach’ or ‘achieve’ an orgasm. In her words, “a person can express their sexuality in many ways, not only through their genitals.”

That’s what we at The Pleasure Project believe as well – there are sooooo many sexy and safe ways of pleasuring yourself or each other that you could spend a month of O’s and mmmm’s just going through our list on sexy tips !

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Oh Sexy Hauz Kaus – fantasies from the village

25/06/2011 in *What We're Up To, News About Us, Pleasure News & Views, Uncategorized by Annie | No comments

Well hello Hauz Kaus Village. HKV  is the Soho or the Greenwich village of Delhi. It’s surrounded by parks and a beautiful lake and tomb – and is filled with antique shops specializing in old Bollywood posters, quirky cafes, wonderful neighbourhood restaurants and an independent bookstore Yodakin.  Now you might remember Yodakin, it was they who asked The Pleasure Project to hold one of our special “Share Your Pleasure” events. It rocked.

So they asked us back. This time to sit and share some fantasies from our safer sofa – during the village open night. Basically the village on open night

credit: Vidura Bahadur

has lots of fantasy potential. All the shops were open and spilled out onto the streets,  and  we sat amongst the knick knacks and read some gorgeous erotica and then encouraged the hordes (and there were) to give us their fantasies into our now famous fantasy box. We asked you what your fantasies are, what turned you on, what you played through your mind as you played with yourself.

 

So guess what we got from the hordes.  We’ll give you some clues – they were a young sexy urban and urbane Delhi crowd. Dressed to the nines. Strolling the lanes of the village.

And out of the 150 fantasies we collected the top 7 topics were …….in this order….

1. Travel – and boy would you love to travel and have sex.  In a “European train carriage” whilst “sky diving naked” “on the 18th hole of Augusta” or very specifically a “threesome with an Afghani and a Baster tribal in Paris under the Lourve”. And our personal haunting favourite ” one night with Candice again (first lover) in Timbaktoo (near Anantpur Village) under a million stars, by Shakti”

2. No surprises here at number 2 – ORGIES and threesomes in all their variety. Harems, lots of firemen, supermodels, lots of money at the orgy, “with the entire band” in a trailer van – you name you want to do it. But of course our personal favourite is “my wish is to engage in all manner of sex, really enjoy it without ever falling sick”. Yep that’s us all over – keep is good’n safe.

3. This might be a Haus Kaus thing (or maybe not) but food and sex fantasies came in at number 3.  You want to “swim in pomegranate seeds” have “chocolate mountains and chocolate fall” or quite unusually “threesome with a man doused in maple syrup and a woman wrapped in newspaper”.

Number 4 was (tra ra ra) girl on girl fantasies. In “bath tubs with petals” “wearing a dildo” “getting totally soaked in my partners cunt” and the poignant ” if you were here, we would lean into each other, duck into lanes, extract the real use from each other and life would be good. But you’re not, so I got it alone” . Ahh.

And at number 5 is a category that we classified simply a poetic – we cannot possibly do justice to the term in the space we have here. We will need to come back to it- and especially a wonderful poem that was given to us about bamboo, filtered sunlight and a cool pool of water. But here a taster or the others – your fantasies included “magnificent pink” and “trek to the hidden waterfall and romp naked with caveman beats”.

At number 6 was public sex. You are fantasizing about being super drunk and having sex with people you don’t know ( is that possible in these days of facebook…and oh have the youth of today lost the possibility of the totally anonymous fuck ), to act in porn movies  and even“the library scene from Atonement”.

Lastly we had a couple of very well described scenes where lovers turn into something else – in our case a mermaid or a cat who lived in a house under the water of the Yamuna. They were wonderful and we were there in that moment of morphing lovers as we read them. The “salt touched breasts ” “how you would love every glistening fishy scale before you had to leave heading for dry land again”.

We has a few fantasies very kindly given to us that did not fit any of these categories – and for that reason we are greedily holding them back for another time, another blog. Leaving you fantasy richer with the selection from a fun  Sunday night and with a slight sense of delayed gratification.

After all we don’t want to overwhelm you – but leave you feeling merely satisfied with the Hauz Kaus fantasy deposit into our global open source fantasy collection project. There is, after all,   nothing safer than reading a fantasy.

Enjoy. Thank you Hauz Kaus. We love you….

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