May 2011

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May is national masturbation month – a celebration of the joys of self lovin’.

We hope you have been taking this seriously.

Because wanking is not second best or even a last resort.It’s the real deal. And after all, if you don’t know what you like,  how are you going to be able to tell your partners what you like ?

If you have been a good activist wanker – please pat yourself again in celebration.

If you have not been wanking this month.  Shame on you.  But there is still time to spank the monkey before the month ends and feel like a good safe sex activist…..on your own masturbate – a – thon today.

And we wanted to list a few benefits of playing with yourself to start you off.

– orgasms make you live longer, a study found that there was a 50% reduction in death rates in man who orgasmed frequently

– wanking reduces your risk of prostrate cancer ( this only applies for boys ;-)

– wanking reduces infections of the cervix (this only applies for girls ;-)

– wanking increases fertility

– wanking can improve self esteem and reduce depression

– The five knuckle shuffle is not a new thing but an integral part of the human condition. There are depictions of  women enjoying some self love from as far back at 4th C BC in cave drawings.

And  studies show that 95% of men and 71% of women have masturbated during their lives..

So please take your pleasure  into your own hands as national masturbation months draws to a close – and enjoy some good completely safe sex today.


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So as we pleasure propagandists know – the main problem with getting men to put it on – is that they say it stops their pleasure.

These are of course, the men who don’t realise yet that they have been missing years of sexy safer sex. The kind of sex where their lover says

“Lie still I’m going to fuck you slowly and slowly so slowly” and  slow like continental drift, they unroll a condom carefully down and around their erect dick  with their wet mouth.

Or they drop some lube in the end to give that warm squishy feeling inside the condom just where it matters.

Or they consult The Pleasure Project’s sexy tips page and get really creative.

Anyhow we digress.

A new condom  has been invented that will enhance its sexiness by putting a gel inside it to make erections last longer.  It works by increasing blood flow to the penis and making it hard for longer.


It all sounds good on the front and similar  to the condoms with a dab of climax controlling or anesthetic gel in them – that make you “so numb you don’t come”.

Showing that a little bit of numbness can be good when it comes to some of that stuff us human beans get up to in the bedroom.



This new one has been touted as the and should be on the shelves first in the UK.  So it makes erections last longer, so making men (and their partners) keener to use them and also stops condoms sliding off during their softer moments.

The last stage of approval apparently is to ensure that the gel only rubs off on the men not their partners . Hum. Why so ?


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Two weeks ago we put out a call for fantasies for the “Share Your Pleasure”

most common fantasies ?

event in Delhi – and on the night we had a fantasy box into which we collected all your lovely fantasies. This was all to make us wealthy, healthy and wiser in our fantasy banks. We are adding them to the huge amount we collected in Vienna at AIDS 2010.  It’s all

dilli desi-aunties ?

So its time … reveal……..what do those dirti delhiites  fantasise about during the long hot summers…..         ice cream? cold showers ?                                   a functioning AC unit ?

So we asked the gathered listeners to tell us how their fantasies smell, feel, look and taste like…

Someone was very specific. Their fantasy tastes of vanilla or cucumbers on water, feels like midnight showers  and looks like a man in a top hat. Such poetry –  we do hope they get all of that all at the same time soon.

Food predominated, as did water and a bit of light bondage and domination. (Oh ho Dilli Dilli).

And so of food; you wanted yoghurt covered blueberries, you wanted chewing gun stuck to nipples , you wanted to force feed your blind- folded lover green chillies and finally when all was said and done you wanted to “make alphabets in jam on bellies and clitorises” .  (Was that the plural  …..Phew)

But if that is making you a little too hot in this unbearable summer heat – you will be glad to know that water was a key preoccupation of our Delhi frantic fantasizers.  We had lovers in with “the aroma of last night’s rain on a sandy terrace” or seeing him “dancing naked in the sprinklers in the lawns around the monument at 8am” and we had some lucky slave being dominated by her mistress in the jacuzzi.

And then some more unsuspected fantasies – two people like moustaches on a woman  “its good to find a little to rub face to face, lip to lip” Oh hello. We hear you.

We also had a very sexy ode to a sexy Jacaranda tree and the man sheltering below it.

You BLUE tree, wet dark and mossy carpety ! So so moist, cool, you thick trunk ! and millions of your blue blue flowers, falling, anointing my nakedness”.  “Jacaranda you lucky bitch …look at the latino, caramel boy, sprawled, spread out to dry his beauty on your kind slope.”

We had a couple of very sexy nerdy fantasies. And before you say ANYTHING I always use the word nerd as interchangeable with sex god.

One was an OCD (very neat top of the class ) list of 4 exciting foreplay activities and then a sweet sad plea, to say  ” I cannot think of more, I’m single and dying to try“.  H, I do hope your time has come because that was a well organised list.

We also got a  loudly titled “A Gay Fantasy'”

with a mathematical feel.

Licking armpits+licking chest hair+Rimming my guy’s ass =You know me!……… (well I do hope so ;-)

We had people wanting sex on railroad tracks, in dark cinemas and three people in a place we all knew.

Yodakin bookstore itself. Oh hello. A whole new meaning to sexuality resource centre. So we shall leave you with one of those very fantasies.

“I’m in a quiet corner in this bookstore in Haus Kaus village. I am slightly tipsy and aroused by the erotic images showing on a projector screen. I glance at a man in the corner. He smiles at me. I smile back. I start to touch myself. I can tell he is aroused. He starts to touch himself. We stare at each other, engrossed in our mutual masturbation. Suddenly we notice the room is silent. We have an audience. I decide to stop. I got shy”

I guess it really was alright on the night.

And THANK YOU DELHI. The fantasy bank is overflowing.

The Pleasure Project is looking forward to hearing what other cities might have to say on the subject of their fantasies. Will Bangalore be all about sex against their hard drives  ? or Bhopal enjoying the lake at midnight ?

Who knows ? But keep those fantasies coming……..we are all ears.

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A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the “what” behind the recently launched SuzyKnew website ( what it is and how it seems like all my life I’ve been enjoying working in and writing about sex (and love!) Today, I want to explain why I think SuzyKnew can reach women in developing countries and encourage them to take charge of their sexual health and pleasure, attracting both modern and traditional women.

Well – it was about two years ago when I explained to friends and colleagues that I wanted to launch a website where women from different countries could go to have fun – you know like sexual and erotic fun! – and at the same time get accurate up-to-date facts on sexual and reproductive health.

“That’s a stupid idea. The internet is used by only the wealthy few in developing countries. Just keep it in the US.” most said. “Women in the developing world don’t use the internet – especially traditional women,” others quipped.

But, I didn’t let the statements discourage me. I wasn’t convinced that women in the developing world weren’t accessing the internet. Why? Between 2005 – 2009, I had to travel to 2 or 3 countries a month for my work in reproductive health and afterwards, I started living in Africa to manage public health projects. I visited health centers in remote districts and often had to use the local internet café for work. Off dirt roads in crumbling buildings, I would find women-run internet cafes in the peri-urban areas of Tanzania, Kenya and Rwanda. In urban Jo’burg and Manila, I would see teenage girls laughing together at internet cafes, and in Phnom Penh and Kiev, the internet was a way of life for women, as it was for women in hijab in Kuala Lumpor. From their faces, I could tell that the time spent on the internet was one that gave them freedom from their day-to-day routine and an opening into a world and information beyond what they knew.

Looking at the data back in 2009 to determine whether to launch and which countries to focus on, I saw while the internet was not widely used in Africa, its growth was phenomenal. Top 5 internet using countries in Africa included Nigeria and South Africa. Nigeria’s user growth was 5,400% at the time. Turkey and Russia, countries with burgeoning “women power” and strong and growing contraceptive use, ranked in the top 8 countries with the largest number of internet users. However, when looking at the per capita number of physicians globally, the lack of physicians in Africa was glaring and convinced me to start my efforts to improve access to sexual and reproductive health information in Nigeria and South Africa, in addition to the US and UK. I included the Philippines, another country with rapid internet user growth, when a young woman from the Philippines agreed to be my volunteer intern and cultivate a Filipina following.

Jump forward to the spring of 2011, a peaceful democratic revolution emerged in Tunisia to cause its leader to depart and then spread to Egypt. Read the rest of this entry »

Thanks to all who came to Yodakin Bookstore last night and bravely wrote, read and shared their fantasies at our “Share Your Pleasure” event. We are now all the richer in our collective fantasy bank.

Let it long continue this participatory literotica festival  . . .

We had a wonderful array of fantasies –  both ones we had prepared earlier and others spontaneously added to our “fantasy box”.  Whilst people read we watched a backdrop of polymorphously perverse  images including some that attendees had sent to The Pleasure Project in advance – you naughty exhibitionists you.

The evening began with a beautiful feast with Rosalyn who whetted everyone’s appetite with her soaking, marinating chicken. Taking us deep in the art of lustful food.

Then with perfect timing Sumit arrived fresh from the exertions of his Haus Kaus run to glow and deliver his running fantasy. Oh the sexiness of the competition between male runners. He dis-robed and then re-robed as a laburnum tree in bloom. He admitted that he was a mixture of
” speeding machismo, and admiring legs”


I then came out to admit my fetish for sofas and clasped a shiny cushion and described my current  favourite one, it’s beautiful dark wood edges and it’s perfect height, just right to catch that space between thighs and hipbone. How I often

“let the soft skin of my forearm sneak a touch of it’s upper edge”.

We also heard a couple of anonymous readings from people who were in the bookstore – but did not want to read. We like shy people, sooooo cute.

So Oroon had the pleasure of reading them. We loved hearing about the threatening intimacy of two women shaving each other and then were immediately plunged headlong  into the cool relief of two wet women with

“Handfuls of wet stretchy fabric and then finally cool skin, firm waist, a shoulder blade, the beautiful smooth roundness of her ass, a billowing curtain brushes both bodies with rain smelling wind”.

Arushi then treated us to  her favourite fantasy of public sex and one man’s unusual take on unsafe sex – that its not to be encouraged because it makes you travel through wormholes in time and space. Not worth the risk of where you will end up, we reckon.

Which led us neatly to the sex toy demos; the wonderful remote controlled vibrating egg or  the beautifully snug lubed male sheath that can be carefully teased down a dick with your lips. Even be filled with a dab of lube to give a warm wonderfully squishy feeling all over the head of his erection – and last but not least the FC2 that gives you a special tickle and if you like it a rough bump and grind during sex. The ring pushed deep into your pussy gives a feeling like someone is lightly teasing the back of your eyeballs. . .

Phew. It was a steamy night. As I walked down the quiet lane of Haus Kaus village, dazed people spilling out into the dry hot night. One woman said to me

“I have never been to anything like this, to hear people’s fantasies and write my own, but now I can’t stop thinking about that one, that one where my best friend will watch me having sex and direct the action.”

So go forth and have fun, but please pleasure each other safely.

Next up – what did people write in that fantasy box ?

What sweet inspiration did occur to you all after hearing all these fantasies ?

For that you will need to wait a while . . .


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